Monday, December 2, 2013

The Deadly Bounce of--The Leap-Frog!


"You only get one chance to make a first impression." -- Fran Drescher



Well, not everyone can be Doctor Doom.


Remember before Matt Murdock got so serious, and he was still the rollickin', swingin', carefree Man Without Fear, Daredevil? Say what you will about that Daredevil's roster of villains--but they were definitely, shall we say, inventive. If I had to dream up a Marvel villain, chances are the last concept that would come to mind would be the Leap-Frog, a novelty toy inventor who thought he could put his talents to better use by designing a "power" for himself that would allow him to get rich fast by pulling heists while easily evading law enforcement. Just look how confident he is on his test flight--er, bounce:



He's certainly running those policemen ragged, so he can probably chalk up his first outing as successful--but if Murdock's reaction to the guy's villain name is any indication, the "Leap-Frog" isn't likely to strike terror into the hearts of New Yorkers.

So the next step is a fearsome costume. Sigh--a costume designed by a man who's a novelty toy inventor. We can probably take a good guess at how ludicrous the final product might turn out to be:



Hey, at least he's got the villain patter down. That has to count for something.

I'll give him this--under cover of darkness, the Leap-Frog looks like he could get away with a heist or two. Though I don't know many looters who fail to take into account alarm systems:



One question I feel compelled to bring up--how does this guy navigate? How does he keep from slamming into walls? How does he kill his momentum? I don't see any brakes on this costume, do you?

Anyway, let's cut to the chase, and find out how Daredevil does against the Leap-Frog. If the match-up is anything like hearing the words "Daredevil vs. the Leap-Frog" out loud, I doubt any of us will be on the edge of our seats:





Wow! Daredevil sure seems confounded by the mighty Leap-Frog. This battle might just make him the Man Without A Fan Base. But let's not count out DD yet. All he or anyone really has to do is to get ahold of the Leap-Frog, and he has a handy tool with which to do just that:



And now that DD knows to keep away from those coiled springs, the Leap-Frog can look forward to more falling than leaping:



Okay, the guy is captured, and his brief life of crime is brought to an end before it could really begin. There's no need to humiliate him at this point, is there? Sorry, Daredevil and the police beg to differ. I mean, they're fishing out a guy in a frog suit from a pond and carting him off to jail--who wants to miss an opportunity like that?



Heh heh, the laugh's going to be on you, coppers. Because you haven't ...

(I can't believe I'm saying this ...)

You haven't seen the last of the Leap-Frog.

I bet everyone there just felt themselves shiver. Or it could just be the onset of warts.

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