Finders, Keepers

 

Slipping by the wave of issues which were branded with the Assistant Editors' Month stamp in January of 1984 was the 1983 X-Men Annual #7 (which also happened to slip by the PPC's roundup of 1983 annuals in the fall of '22). Written by Chris Claremont with art by Michael Golden (with an assist by Bret Blevins) along with inkers galore, the story makes a fine addition to the who's-running-the-asylum theme of the other AEM books whose editors were attending the San Diego Comic Con, leaving their underlings free to publish their own stories in their own way. Unfortunately for them, they become collateral damage as they're swept up with others in the X-Men's pursuit of a powerful "foe" who is engaged in a series of thefts for reasons unknown.

As we can see, however, the jig is up almost immediately, since it appears that no one thought to advise cover artist John Romita Jr. not to spill the beans on the identity of the perpetrator first thing. (Also, Mr. Romita, Cyclops doesn't appear in this story at all, but Professor X certainly does. Those asst. editors pranked you but good, didn't they?) But mum's the word, since everyone else in the issue will remain in the dark for the duration of this crazy roller coaster ride we're about to embark on.

Taking a leaf from Asst. Editor Eliot Brown, whose clever title/credits page appears at the very end of the story (which coincides with his detonation of same), we're placing it instead alongside the issue's cover, just to give you a taste of the ride you're in for in this forty-page tale. Because while the X-Men treat this "threat" with all due seriousness, you can bet that with the Impossible Man at the center of it all, the situation has the potential of spiraling beyond the control of anyone and everyone involved.

These Boots Were Made For Clodhopperin'

Four years ago, the PPC dared to tell you that we'd wrapped up our look at Assistant Editors' Month--that under-the-radar event where Marvel's staff of editors, who had flown en masse to attend the 1984 San Diego Comic Con, ceded responsibility for January's issues and stories to their subordinates in the editorial ranks of the company. That month, many of Marvel's covers carried an imposing stamp which warned that we might see a few of those editors peeking out from behind the curtain and playing a little mischief with our reading experience while the cat was away:

But some of these stories still turn up on our radar from time to time, and, like Marvel's dreaded inventory shelf, no story goes to waste here.* Though from his expression, the Thing might wish otherwise!

*Well, some do; that is, there are some stories which even the PPC is hesitant to touch with a ten-foot pole.

As with a few other stories which carried the AEM stamp, this one by John Byrne and Ron Wilson begins rather normally, as we find Ben Grimm visiting his girlfriend, sculptress Alicia Masters, in the hospital where she recovers from sustaining injuries at the hands of Annihilus. What isn't normal behavior for Ben is that he has begun thinking about his own mortality--and that, given his choice of vocation, the odds are in favor of meeting his death in some battle before he's ready to choose to retire and start a new life with Alicia. It's a strange perspective for Byrne to have him dwell on, particularly in light of the fact that Ben only has to look to his partner and best friend, Reed Richards, to see that his current occupation and his wish to be with Alicia need not be mutually exclusive.

Regardless, his thoughts on the matter are heavy on his mind once he leaves and, shortly afterward, decides to intervene in a bank holdup--where he finds a foe unlike any other he's dealt with, and more of a threat than he bargained for.

Twinkle, Twinkle, Golden Oldie

This is one team-up we probably didn't see coming:

And it's not like we haven't seen this kind of lunacy repeated:

Also, it's Assistant Editors' Month, so all bets are off as to whether or not this story is going to be on the up and up. The preposterous absurd insane unlikely team-up that greets our eyes in this issue of Marvel Team-Up declares on its cover, "Not a hoax! Not a What If! Not an imaginary story!" Aunt May should wash out the mouths of the assistant editors with a bar of soap for making those claims. But let's see how bad bad can get, eh?

Teacher's Pest

While most of Marvel's titles participated heartily in the craziness that was Assistant Editors' Month, there were some that left less of a footprint or skipped out on the event altogether. For instance, both Dr. Strange and What If, published bi-monthly, were not on the racks in January of 1984 and thus got a pass. And there were those confounding inserts, where you were left scratching your head over why the effort was made to contribute anything at all:

(On the bright side, you may have found the 60¢ you plopped down for both Avengers #239 and Thor #339 was money well spent.)

The backup story featured in that month's Daredevil was perhaps noteworthy because DD ended up playing little more than a cameo, while irrepressible F-student Dirk McGirk took center stage as his hero to deliver his oral report. Dirk, unfortunately, is an unsurpassed mangler of the English language--so the delivery of his report, like his entrance, is less than stellar:

However, just when Dirk's teacher is about to snap her fifth pencil, the class gets an unexpected surprise (and Dirk, an unexpected reprieve):

An appearance which should have sent Dirk's grade into the stratosphere. But his teacher is not on board with what she assumes is a surprise arranged by Dirk. On the other hand, Dirk's popularity, unlike his grade point average, soars.

Meanwhile, in the pages of Fantastic Four, artist/writer John Byrne finds that Assistant Editors' Month has handed him a golden opportunity to once more make his presence known in the book:

As Byrne is the "chronicler" of the FF book, the Watcher snatches him up to bear witness to the trial of Reed Richards convened by Lilandra of the Shi'ar. And when the proceedings are over, he even shares in the reflection of the Watcher:

As for the actual Marvel editors, you could see what trouble they're up to in San Diego by picking up Dazzler #30--whose title character is in a little trouble herself, with her book now shifted to bi-monthly publication (though lucky enough to have its publication month coincide with AEM) and having only twelve more issues to go before being cancelled.

COMING UP NEXT, wrapping up our look at

Aunt May, Herald of Galactus!

(That should do the ol' heart wonders!)

Spectacular Spider-Knees

Ordinarily, any of us might have had the same reaction Al Milgrom had, when discovering that he'd been replaced as the artist on Spectacular Spider-Man on a whim:

Well, maybe not the same reaction. But we should keep in mind that this is happening during Assistant Editors' Month at Marvel, and such havoc is to be expected. In this case, while his boss is in California with the other editors, Bob DeNatale has decided to take a different approach with the art on this issue--but who will be his choice over Milgrom?

Yes, Fred Hembeck, the caricature artist known for adding curlicues to his characters' knees and elbows. Do we dare have a look at how he's going to draw an entire Spider-Man story?

Hey, Mikey! You're An Avenger!

Not since the likes of Not Brand Echh have we seen a hero using a stew pot to conceal their identity. Of course we're talking about none other than the heroic clod known as Forbush-Man:

Leave it to Assistant Editors' Month to find a way to pay homage to this fictional and often-trod-upon employee of Marvel Comics--or, rather, that trademark metal helmet of his.  And that brings us to the opening pages of Invincible Iron Man #178--featuring Iron Man's much younger stand-in (along with his fellow "Avengers") in the process of putting the bag on a perp.

We're all probably eager to see the wrath of Blackie's mom--but there's a more important matter demanding our attention. Because the adult Iron Man is currently caught in the backlash of Tony Stark's descent into alcoholism--and since the Avengers have been forced to accept Iron Man's resignation from their ranks (conveyed through Stark's close friend, James Rhodes), their kid counterparts find themselves put in a very uncomfortable position.

Jeez!  These kids need a stern tongue-lashing from Jarvis!  What sad fate awaits Mikey?

You Get What You Pay For

If you're looking for a copy of Uncanny X-Men #177 just to get ahold of its insert that makes a contribution to Marvel's Assistant Editors' Month theme, hold that thought. Because once you have a look at it in a minute, you might come to the conclusion that you should instead be seeking out this issue for its opening focus on Mystique, leader of the Brotherhood of Mutants, as she confronts the entire team of X-Men on her own. Assuming she survives the assault of the X-Man least likely to let her walk out of this deserted circus alive:

A Woman's Crimefighting Is Never Done

The comics story device of a girlfriend (or wife) pining away the hours while her super-hero fella is out saving the world is an old one--and during Assistant Editors' Month at Marvel, it was probably inevitable that one of those lower-tier editors left in charge would take that idea and run with it. In the case of Michael Carlin, assistant to the absent Mark Gruenwald, that run became a sprint when he arranged for Bernadette Rosenthal, girlfriend to the one and only Captain America, to give some thought one lonely night to how it might be if Steve Rogers was instead the one left behind, while she was the hero who was responsible for the pursuit of truth and justice:

Scripted by J.M. DeMatteis, the tale of "Bernie America" is a playful romp that has you looking around for Marie Severin, who's crafted her share of whimsical farce stories featuring Marvel characters. But where Severin would portray the characters as outrageous, warped caricatures in appearance, Mike Zeck, regular penciller on the book, helps to make the transition between the main story and Bernie's fantasy a seamless one, though there's no doubt where one ends and the other begins:

"MO-Skull," the merging of the Red Skull and M.O.D.O.K., is probably something I wouldn't have thought of in my wildest imaginings. Fortunately, he's not going to be around long, as Bernie quickly takes the initiative and proceeds to dispatch him. In less than dignified fashion, I might add:

The last part of the tale indeed puts the pining shoe on the other foot, as Steve Rogers becomes the one who finds he must tearfully come second to Bernie's duty as a hero--er, heroine:

Bernie's fantasy only takes up the last few pages of the Captain America issue it appears in--and though it is only a dream sequence, Carlin manages to cleverly segue to it following the regular Cap story, with Cap heading home after his adventure and determined to devote more time to his girlfriend. Bernie, of course, has been in an adventure of her own, though she finds she's happy to put the costume aside for now:

It looks like Bernie's made her peace with Steve's double life. (Though if I were Steve, I'd keep tabs on that Cap costume and shield from now on.)

COMING UP NEXT in our look at

Thanks to Mystique, the X-Men have a really bad day.

Great Power... Great Responsibility

With all the craziness happening in Marvel titles during Assistant Editors' Month, I wasn't expecting to find an issue of Amazing Spider-Man that stood out from the pack and delivered some excellent, quality reading--thanks to writer Roger Stern, who delivers both an action-packed battle as well as a touching, heartfelt tale where Spidey meets his biggest fan. (Other than Flash Thompson, that is.) As Assistant Editor Bob DeNatale put it:

"I've prevailed upon Roger Stern to deliver not one, but two stories... with two different sets of artists and two decidedly different dramatic tones. I asked Rog and the rest of my creative crews to come up with a pair of special stories that would contrast each other and bring out two distinct yet important facets of the web-slinger's legend."

We'll have a look at each of these stories--but their respective splash pages should give you an idea of the different approaches DeNatale had in mind:

Dawn Of The Assistant Editors!

In January of 1984, most of the Marvel titles for the month were "stamped" with this peculiar warning:

The Marvel staff of editors had flown off to California to attend the San Diego Comic Con, as well as to pay a visit to Stan Lee at what was then "Marvel Productions"--leaving their assistant editors "in charge" of things in New York, with the warning stamp giving the impression that the lower-tier editors felt at liberty to produce that month's issues and stories in a "while the cat's away..." paroxysm of irresponsibility. In reality, it was a clever example of Marvel never letting a good marketing ploy go to waste. These issues, like any others, were plotted, approved, and readied for production months in advance, with writers and artists having already been assigned to the work and the principal editors likely signing off on the finished products before ever stepping foot out the door.

That's not to say there weren't some assistant editor shenanigans taking place in these issues. Parodies... farce... caricatures... stories springing from a character's dreams... as well as brief inserts that gave us the opportunity to meet these editors, stepping out from behind the curtain and having their moment to make their impression on readers. It's hard to say how successful it all was, in terms of familiarizing readers with these people who, up until now, toiled in obscurity and were only known in occasional Bullpen Bulletin tidbits. You can probably name four or five of Marvel's past editors without even thinking about it--how many assistant editors come to mind?

Be that as it may--since we readers were inundated that month with titles bearing that dreaded stamp, it seems only fair that we here at the PPC inundate you with tales featuring more Marvel assistant editors than you can shake a deadline at. Think of it as an opportunity to finally meet the assistant editors from the mid-1980s! Who wouldn't perk up at the thought of that? You might even remember most of them this time around! Probably not.

We might as well start at the top: Ann Nocenti, who makes us aware of her seniority during the absence of editor Carl Potts and Editor-in-Chief Jim Shooter in this brief sequence from an issue of The Defenders:

But in that month's issue of Incredible Hulk, Nocenti is a little more grounded when featured in the story's introduction, as the Marvel offices receive a most unexpected visitor: