Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Woman To Piranha

There's a reason why you don't see too many super-heroes on the talk show circuit. It's probably the same reason they don't book many public appearances--you're just asking for one of their enemies to show up and ambush them. Look at the resulting chaos when Captain America does charity or exhibition events--anything can happen, and usually does. I suppose it doesn't ever occur to anyone to hire extra security--maybe it seems redundant, considering you have a super-hero right there on the premises.

Still, some television hosts have been willing to take the risk, since super-heroes are no doubt a guaranteed ratings bonanza. But, as we take a look at some of these appearances, we'll see that things often don't end well for the host, or their studio, or their live audience--or, needless to say, their guest!

Why don't we start with the good Captain himself, who's out promoting a film (oh, let's not get into that right now, hmm?) but whose talk show appearance falls victim to a nihilist group which sees an opportunity to get their message out to a wide audience. Unfortunately, that doesn't include the studio audience, since they're being targeted with explosives:

Next up: Spider-Man, who books a spot on a midnight show.  Spider-Man, being Spider-Man, risks not only an enemy's attack but also the appearance of the police who would probably try to take him into custody. Little does he know that J. Jonah Jameson has also gotten wind of the appearance, and has arranged a surprise guest to join Spidey on-stage:

But as worried about Spidey as we are, what we're really hoping at this point is that he'll be able to tell better jokes than his host's writers:

Finally, Spider-Man makes his entrance, in his own unique fashion:

Man, Spidey's bombing big time! But while the audience has only collective groans to attack him with, Jameson's "guest" is instead out for blood:

David Letterman, however, thought he would one-up "Marvin" by booking some less notorious but arguably more world-famous guests:

And while Hawkeye is a little hard of hearing from an encounter with Crossfire, he manages to snatch a copy of Letterman's questions in advance and tries to wing it:

As if I had to tell you, the studio appearance doesn't end smoothly. In fact, it's crashed by none other than... than... oh, I'm betting you've already guessed.

The one interview I can recall going reasonably smoothly is a taped studio interview with Sue Richards:

Everyone seems at ease here, don't they? But don't let the smiles and routine of the studio fool you. Because Sue still has something of an adversary to face, in the form of the derisive host of "Woman To Woman," Barbara Walker.

Sue, as you can see, chooses to fight fire with demure pleasantness, though knowing full well Walker's intent in this little sparring match. And while Walker continues to try to get a rise out of her, she finds no one can quite match Sue's method:

Walker, to her credit, manages to regain her composure, and also attempts to regain the stage by moving on to more probing and potentially embarrassing questions. But by now Sue has taken her measure, and is ready for her at every turn:

In short, Sue handles herself beautifully. Though Barbara can't resist a parting shot:

Sue also sets an example for her super-powered peers: Tape your shows in advance!
(You don't want to take on anyone worse than Barbara, do you?)

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