Beware, The Pit Of Doom!

 

OR: "How To Bag A Spider-Man"

Comics superhero stories played strictly for laughs have for the most part proven to be hit-and-miss with me. On the one hand, I prefer to sit down with a comic that provides a level of tension and drama for the hero(es) of the book and draws me into an involved story that's successfully piqued my interest; and on the other, a story that's produced all in good fun comes as a complete surprise to me and can read like page after page of slapstick, and panel after panel of witticisms and one-liners.  Following a thirty- or sixty-day wait for a new story, something done in farce can be a letdown.

One character who has arguably become the poster child for such a story is the White Rabbit, the "Alice In Wonderland"-inspired criminal with delusions of grandeur who indulges in a life of crime as a lark in heists ranging from petty theft to grand extortion, and whose wealth (that's putting it mildly) affords her whatever resources she needs to avail herself of, whether it's weaponry, manpower, or equipment. Her first two outings drew the involvement of the Fabulous Frog-Man (descriptive nomenclature his own), offspring of the original Leap-Frog, who joined with Spider-Man to put an end to her plans; but when she captures and holds for ransom the Grizzly and the Gibbon, two costumed former criminals gone straight, she still finds it a struggle to be taken seriously, either by the Mayor of New York, or by this book's title character...

...who appears to be fighting incognito in this issue. What's the story on that?

Writer J.M. DeMatteis with artists Luke Ross and Dan Green get right down to business with the Rabbit, as she airs her demands to the Mayor but unfortunately ends up with a less than receptive audience.

Meanwhile, Peter Parker and his wife, Mary Jane, while discussing the uncomfortable fact that the city's anti-Spider-Man hysteria seems to be at an all-time high (thanks to new Daily Bugle publisher Norman Osborn), learn of the Rabbit's extortion attempt while passing by a television seller's shop, where the clientele and the Mayor appear to be of like mind.

As for our hapless hostages, they see their captivity as a priceless opportunity for lucrative exposure--should they somehow find a way to not be captives, that is.

At the same time, our Rabbit learns that crime does not pay--in her case, literally.

And so the Rabbit unleashes her Flying blimp Hare over Manhattan, along with its armament of (I'm sorry) carrot bombs on those helpless citizens unlucky enough to fall under its shadow. Nor is the Rabbit's grasp of mathematics liable to win over her critics, as she proceeds to raise her original ransom demand by shaving off a number of zeros.

When the Rabbit returns to her hare lair to await the Mayor's response, we can only assume it's her contempt for his counter-offer that prompts her decision to dispose of the Gibbon and the Grizzly. (It's all guesswork in an issue like this--and at this point, no one really cares, do they?) More hilarity ensues when Spider-Man's entrance causes the pair to plummet to their doom--while the appearance of Spider-Man himself is cause for Peter to make a few revisions to his own origin.

More references to the embezzler known as the Big Wheel, whose choice of conveyance would obviously fit like a glove into this type of story. But though the actual threat which has made its entrance has no colorful rabbit-themed name, it's managed to kayo both the "Bag-Man" and the actors who signed on to the Rabbit's payroll, in an apparent triumph for this *ahem* hare-brained, self-styled Queen of Crime.

What she hasn't taken into account, however, is the resourcefulness of the two budding heroes she's held in such disdain, who made good use of the Rabbit's killer bunnies waiting in the Pit of Doom. The triumph is theirs this day--and with their road to fame and royalties assured, they're magnanimous enough to offer some guidance to the new kid on the block.

Supposedly avoiding any serious prison time because she has the best lawyers money can buy on retainer, the White Rabbit continued to make appearances in a number of stories, not only in the ASM book and its spinoffs but in a number of other titles, as well--even becoming the partner of Arcade, a match made in... well, I wouldn't care to guess.