The Tenacious Return Of The Terrifying Toad-Men!

 

There are few if any conquering races more entertaining than the terrifying Toad Men, the Ferengi of space-faring conquerors who seem to strive to be taken seriously (even in light of their obvious power and resources)--aggressors that take what they want, when they want, and no two ways about it. These wily characters, with weaponry based on the power of directed magnetism, were introduced in mid-1962 by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, and, after a failed attempt to conquer Earth, now return thirteen years later, once more in the pages of Incredible Hulk--the passage of time apparently not having dimmed their lust for conquest in the slightest.

As we can see, this two-part story introduces the character of Glorian, whose origin would be later retconned by writer Bill Mantlo but who for now appears in the company of the Shaper of Worlds, another Hulk-based figure who searches for those whose dreams he can fulfill, regardless of the lives which might be impacted as a result. It's Glorian who now serves as both the Shaper's muse of sorts, as well as his conscience insofar as providing a more focused purpose for this massive alien's power.

The Hulk, of course, remains a font of unfulfilled dreams of a better life for himself--and when Glorian entreats him to leave the Earth (via rainbow--what else?) to realize those dreams at last, the man-monster finds the door has opened wide to his dreams and beckoned his long-sought happiness.

(No, I don't know why a content and sleeping Hulk remained as the Hulk instead of the change back to Bruce Banner being triggered--though if you think about it, the banishment of the man he hates most of all would be another dream come true for the Hulk, eh?)

Of course, what better moment for our troublesome Toad-Men to intrude upon and seize not only the Hulk but also his companions, the kind of raid no doubt conducted often by their race to secure slaves in order to service their constructed world's complex internal mechanisms, labor without which Toadworld would literally grind to a halt.

Where the Hulk is concerned, you might think the Toad-Men have bitten off more than even they can chew, but remember who we're dealing with here. To these arrogant, imperious troops, losing is not an option: they will have you, whatever resources they need to bring to bear to gain their prize.

On Toadworld, the King and Queen of the Toad-Men are what you would expect, so no surprises there, even in regard to the Hulk--in the eyes of both, the Hulk is a slave, who must kneel on command and is to be put to work without question. But in putting together the circumstances of the Hulk's presence on a planetoid which the Toad-Men knew to be barren, and upon further investigation with their technology, King Torkon becomes aware of an additional resource which pleases him beyond a measure--one that he plans to acquire without delay, using the power of the Hulk.

A former queen herself and no stranger to conflict or war, to say nothing of her familiarity with the Hulk's strength, you may find Jarella's reasoning curious. For one thing, how else other than depending on the Hulk does she expect their group to escape their fate here? And why allow the Toad-Men to add yet another powerful slave to their resources? It's now or never, Madam.

But the moment passes, the momentum of the Hulk's attack lost--and nothing remains but for him to comply with their captors.

With the Shaper of Worlds in their grasp, and the Hulk marooned on the lifeless planetoid, Torkon has every reason to gloat and take his victory lap. The one unknown which he hasn't reckoned with, however, is Glorian, who returns to the planetoid to find no life on it except the Hulk. Learning of the involvement of the Toad-Men, Glorian travels to Toadworld with the Hulk in order to implore for the release of the Shaper as well as the Hulk's companions.

You can take a wild guess as to what manner of wording Torkon's response is likely to take--and when the consequences of that response result in the "deaths" of the Hulk's loved ones, you can probably also guess what the Hulk's reaction will be.

Finally, the grief-stricken Shaper calls a halt to the fighting, while also making it clear that he is prepared to return the Hulk to his alien-shaped paradise. This time, however, the Hulk's answer will be different--while the Toad-Men are left to recover from staggering losses (should they be able to recover at all, given the circumstances).

With the final narrative that writer Len Wein provides, there's little doubt that the grim fate of Toadworld, its internal mechanisms now at a halt, is inevitable as it heads off out of control into the void. Call me crazy, but after dusting themselves off this disaster might amount to only a minor setback for these tenacious, detestable upstarts.

BONUS!
The Toad-Men return--and just in time for snacks!