Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Counter-Punches


When you see these two guys squaring off to rumble:


...you're expecting to get some cosmic bang for your buck.


Galactus has come to consume the life energy of Counter-Earth, the duplicate of the real Earth that the High Evolutionary has created, orbiting the far side of the sun. I really can't relate to creating an entire planet--I have enough trouble maintaining my landscaping. So I don't know how much sweat the Evolutionary expended to make Counter-Earth a reality. (If you're curious, see Marvel Premiere #1.) I think we can safely assume that he threw everything into it but the kitchen sink. And between that and the effort he's expended trying to keep it from mirroring the savageness of our own world, he's not exactly throwing out the welcome mat for Galactus. On the contrary, he's ready to throw down. As for Galactus, all he hears is the dinner bell:



So are you ready for a battle that will shake this world to its core? Well, don't blink or you'll miss it, because here it is:



Annnnnnnd that's that.


But Counter-Earth's guardian angel is on the job. To make a long story short, Galactus is lured into devouring a substitute world's energies, which prove fatal to him. When he's moments away from death, the High Evolutionary makes his way back from the Negative Zone and decides to save the planet devourer by evolving him into pure inorganic energy. Which solves everybody's problem where Galactus is concerned, right? Galactus need no longer feed to survive; no more worlds will fall to his hunger; and Counter-Earth's inhabitants get to continue growing into their humanity by bringing about worldwide economic disaster and turning their world's climate into swiss cheese.

Of course, Galactus couldn't be left just dissipating in the void. Think what a big head the High Evolutionary was getting--he was probably disseminating pamphlets throughout the stars, telling everyone how he took care of the "Galactus problem." And Galactus wasn't going to do Marvel's bottom line any good as a mass of energy doing nothing.  So the Big G had to be brought back:




I hope you enjoyed this Big Battle IssueTM that wasn't. The cover captioned it "The Battle of the Eons!" Hmpf. I'm almost willing to bet the Watcher didn't even bother to tune in.


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