A Christmas Skinflint

 

Having Daily Bugle publisher J. Jonah Jameson play the character of Ebenezer Scrooge in "A Christmas Carol" is such a natural fit that I'm surprised no one thought of it until 2004. That turned out to be writer Tom DeFalco, who with artist Takeshi Miyazawa fashioned a (what else?) Christmas tale for inclusion in that year's Holiday Special, where the day of Jameson's office Christmas party coincides with a battle taking place on the docks between the Avengers and a grouping of multiple villains (among them the Wrecking Crew and the Absorbing Man), the repercussions of which could prove devastating if it should go against the heroes who have assembled to deal with the threat. And Jameson? While the Bugle's staff is on the job, and reporter Ben Urich and freelance photog Peter Parker will be on their way to the docks to cover the story, Jameson will find himself preoccupied on the sidelines of his office.

For now, however, Jameson is focusing his attention on his workers' party preparations--and, as we saw in another gathering which Jameson hosted, it's clear that this man is just as magnanimous as ever when it comes to the spirit of giving and his ability to think of others.

It seems that Jameson's reputation as a "skinflint" remains intact.

When news breaks of the dockside battle, and his people pivot from their holiday cheer to putting together coverage of the developing story, Jameson slips away to his office for a nap--only to soon discover that a former acquaintance, like Jacob Marley, isn't quite as "dead as a door-nail."*

*"Mind! I don’t mean to say that I know, of my own knowledge, what there is particularly dead about a door-nail. I might have been inclined, myself, to regard a coffin-nail as the deadest piece of ironmongery in the trade. But the wisdom of our ancestors is in the simile; and my unhallowed hands shall not disturb it, or the Country’s done for. You will therefore permit me to repeat, emphatically, that Marley was as dead as a door-nail."

Since that first messenger that "Osborn" spoke of will be the Ghost of Christmas Past, how fitting that the ghost taking Jameson on a tour of his earlier days is represented by Captain America, a man who at one point or another has been haunted by his own past. Here, we cover ground that I don't recall any readers being privy to--for while we're aware of Jameson's son, John, we've never learned of the man's first marriage, his childhood, or, if we're to believe DeFalco, the circumstances which led Jameson to despise the heroes that he once idolized as a boy.

("Cap" also presents to Jameson a rather awkward cameo by the X-Men, which has little of substance to add to this story except a repetition of the distrust which Jameson holds for those in costume.)

From that sad and telling point in Jameson's life, we segue to the Ghost of Christmas Present, given form by the Thing. It's a curious choice; though while there's no reason to indicate why he makes an appropriate guide for Jameson when viewing present events, there's also no reason why not to pick Ben Grimm from whatever choices were available. On this jaunt, following a stop at the Parker home, Jameson, as before, will become similarly disturbed by what he's shown--perhaps because what he's seeing is occurring in real time.

And finally, the Ghost of Christmas Future. Take a guess as to who that will be:

Grimly, we learn with Jameson the series of events which took place after the Avengers' battle--one that didn't go at all well for them, or for those who lived in the times which followed.

As is evident, Jameson has literally had a wake-up call--and if someone as cynical as J. Jonah Jameson can have an epiphany during the holidays, there's hope for every one of us. As for the employees of the Daily Bugle, their party has even more cause for celebration this year.

Don't worry, Jameson will get over his sticker shock at this shindig's price tag--and just in time for a group shot which delivers a sentiment meant for every one of you.

Today the PPC takes the rest of the year off to enjoy the holidays--
we'll see you back here in 2022!