Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Interview With A Vampire


Let's say that you're driving through town one night, and you come across the scene of an accident--only in this case, the accident has just happened, and the police haven't arrived yet. There are three people at the scene; two appear to be dead, but the third, a male, is still alive.

You approach the scene to assist, and begin to help the man to his feet; but upon closer inspection, you realize that the barely conscious man isn't human at all, but... a vampire. And given the amount of blood on the bodies, you realize that this isn't the scene of an accident, but is instead a double murder scene--and that the dead bodies are the end result of this vampire's attack. The same vampire that's on the verge of collapse, and who subsequently does.

Now, a show of hands: How many of you would take this *ahem* gravely ill vampire back to your apartment, call an acquaintance whom you work with, tell them exactly who and what you believe is lying down in the other room, and agree to raid a hospital for bottles of blood so that you could administer it to this vampire in order to help him to recover?

*gasp*  What!?

All right, those of you sick, deranged souls who raised your hands without one moment's consideration--let me rephrase. What if you discovered that the vampire you're trying to revive is none other than Dracula, the Lord of Vampires, whose reputation for ingratitude and senseless, brutal murder precedes him?

I'm glad to see the hands going down. (If haltingly.)

This hypothetical situation has hopefully put you in the shoes of writer and plagiarist Harold H. Harold, who barely makes living as a "hack" writing "shlock" (in his own words) for an editor whose publications trend toward the occult. Harold currently contributes articles for a monthly periodical called True Vampire Stories, which is probably about as sophisticated as it sounds. Harold's editor, Mr. Greadely, has about had it with Harold's poor excuses for articles--but just as the guillotine is about to fall, Harold, grasping for straws, promises an interview with a real vampire for the next issue. Greadely, while delighted, warns of the consequences should Harold fail to deliver; and so Harold drives through Boston that night, hoping to scrape up leads to anyone deluded enough to claim that they're a vampire.

Contrary to Harold's opinion of himself, his luck doesn't always run bad. For instance, after seven fruitless hours of driving, his luck takes a sharp turn for the better. (Depending on how you look at it.)





Aurora, who works in Greadely's office, is really the only person Harold knows in Boston, if only in passing--and with news like this that one can't simply sit on, she was the only one he had to confide in. Given that she's something of an airhead, Aurora isn't the ideal choice to consult with as far as what Harold should do about this situation. But if that furtive rustling behind him is any indication, in a moment Harold may not have much of a choice in anything that involves his future.




Harold's clear and present danger is fleeting, however, since Dracula, still being weakened by the machinations of his enemy, Doctor Sun, is in no condition to stand, much less attack even as helpless a victim as our hapless writer. Nor would Aurora be of much help in that event, given her priorities.




In his weakened state, Dracula can only mumble in his delirium about his need for blood. And once the initial shock of his words wears off, it's enough to spur Aurora and Harold into a mad plan of action to save him, which each of them has their reasons for seeing through: Harold, of course, sees a strong possibility of getting his interview, though he's mostly caught up in Aurora's fervor--while Aurora is obviously attracted to Dracula, her reason for wanting to help being as simple as that.

Now, again put yourself in the shoes of either of these two: What hospital could you possibly gain entrance to where you could obtain enough blood that would help your stricken "patient"? That would depend on your connections. In Harold's case, he's lucky enough to have Aurora as his connection, who already has a plan in mind which involves the hospital at Harvard University where she used to date the quarterback (who, at times, needed the services of said hospital). Though the more shocking revelation would have to be the fact that Aurora actually went to Harvard.





The heist made, the two return to Harold's apartment, where Dracula's condition remains unchanged. Harold hasn't so far demonstrated that he's adept at thinking ahead--but with Dracula possibly now having a good chance of reviving, Harold already is certain of what his next step should be.



It will be quite a scoop for Harold, assuming Dracula is in the mood to be cooperative. If not, both he and Aurora will obtain first-hand experience on what life is like from a vampire's perspective. And won't Greadley get a kick out of that.

In this case, Harold catches a break--though just barely.




Unfortunately, at this point, one of Doctor Sun's henchmen bursts in and escorts Dracula to Sun's lair, where the final battle between them begins. As for Harold, he soon falls in with Quincy Harker and his group, who are of course sworn to end Dracula's existence--bad news for any hopes that Harold had for Dracula's cooperation, though his time in the field will no doubt make for one heck of a True Vampire Story.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

In Bram Stoker's original novel Lucy Westenra is being drained of blood (by Dracula) and needs several blood transfusions. Her long drawn-out death is utterly interminable and to a modern reader there is an obvious flaw - the blood transfusions come from different characters but there is no attempt to match their blood groups with Lucy's blood group (did Bram Stoker or anyone else even know about blood groups in 1897 ?).

I suppose blood groups are irrelevant when a vampire is actually drinking somebody's blood because the victim's blood is food and the blood group doesn't matter.

Perhaps blood groups don't affect the undead anyway :)

Comicsfan said...

Colin, Stoker might have indeed known about the necessity of matching blood types; but as weak as Lucy was, I imagine that it would have unnecessarily complicated her situation (as well as diverted attention away from it, if briefly) if Stoker were to spend time testing people, particularly if there were only a few present who could be tapped as donors. If all four of them matched, it would have been absurd; if only one of them was a match, there would have been little point in making the attempt at a transfusion. Playing things out that way would have been too great a distraction from the drama. The point to that part of the book, I think, was to give the impression that there was hope in saving her, however slim, though the reader would eventually discover her fate was sealed despite everyone's best efforts.