Thursday, May 21, 2015

Support Our Roller Troops


Tony Stark may have had lucrative defense contracts in the years when he was exploring his new life as Iron Man, but, munitions and weapons manufacturing aside, you have to hand it to the man for always thinking outside the box. You could definitely say the same for Reed Richards, yes--but, with his resources, Anthony Stark was the go-to guy for getting things designed and off the drawing board and into productivity.

Yet Stark was also innovative, and his inventive genius often found receptive ears among those in many fields other than the armed forces. For instance, the FF could have probably used this particular invention before they made their fateful space flight:



And not that you don't want a guy like Stark on hand to beef up your medical equipment:


...but when did he find time for a crash course in biology?


Yet it was in national defense that Stark found his niche, going the extra mile for our men in uniform. (Unfortunately, in the '60s, not yet men and women.) For instance, we know that Iron Man added powered roller skates to his arsenal (trying saying that with a straight face)--but let's take a look at where the idea probably trickled down from:


A great idea, assuming your troops have the luxury of highways to whoosh along on--and I'd bet they can probably be heard a mile away by the enemy.


And how about the range on this baby:


Uh--Mr. Stark? Dude? Nobody was firing nuclear salvos, even in the trigger-happy '60s. The goal was not to fire nuclear salvos, remember?


And check out the firepower in this nifty tank-in-a-rifle:


(Yes, there really was something called a "burp gun.")


But as we well know, Stark could tend to go a little overboard with his desire to ensure the safety of everyone. And any guy who tinkers with a WMD like a disintegrator ray should probably be kept on a tight leash:


Hey, Stark, answer your phone! Ultron would like a word with you!

1 comment:

Colin Jones said...

In the '70s and '80s there was a BBC show called 'Tomorrow's World' which featured new inventions that we'd all be using in....er, the world of tomorrow...but the show is remembered as a bit of a joke as most of the inventions were never heard of again - at the time they all seemed cool and viable but for one reason or another they never actually got off the ground. I get the same feeling looking at these Tony Stark inventions - "Mr. Stark ? Yeah, about those roller-skating troops, the burp-gun and the rest, on second thoughts...."

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