Hydra Is For Swingers!

Spectre, or Hydra? The choice seems clear for a prospective evildoer with an eye out for advancement. You could be restricted to formal wear and look forward to stuffy meetings where you and your fellow operatives report to a humorless superior stroking a pussycat on his lap--or you can throw on a green robe, cowl, and goggles, pick up a torch, and wear your "H" emblem proudly while your superior trots out a snarling leopard and issues his orders to the troops.

And then there are also those cool infraction ceremonies, where everybody gets to raise a little hell--that is, everybody but the guest of dishonor. When it came to dispensing punishment for failure, I used to think that no one could equal the cold efficiency of Spectre, the evil organization which often targeted its nemesis, James Bond, but at times had to make an example of underlings who didn't meet expectations. With the push of a button, a Spectre operative suspected of betrayal (or worse, incompetence) would suddenly find themself a victim of summary execution, with their corpse disposed of as tidily as you or I might use a dustpan.

But no one ever accused Hydra of handling its own internal problems any less lethally. You have to think that any organization that has as part of its motto "cut off a limb, and two more shall take its place" isn't going to hesitate when the tree needs pruning. Yet why resort to a mere button, when you can have a little spectacle with your death sentences?

And an "H"-shaped death pendulum, too! What are you waiting for??