Sunday, January 12, 2014

Enter--Dr. Doom!


Doom brings you salutations once more, you fawning fops.

Given the frequency with which I initiate my various campaigns for power and conquest, perhaps you've wondered why our paths don't cross more often, as I recount for you here my unique perspective on those events for both your education as well to ensure historical accuracy. Yet, as you Americans put it, that would be "too much of a good thing." One naturally needs sufficient time to ponder and reflect on the intricacies of Doom's machinations, as well as the workings of his mind and the depths of his genius. I have no wish to overwhelm you with the vast tableau of my plans, or the subtlety with which I manipulate those who oppose me as if they were chess pieces. Suffice to say that Doom prevails, as always--even if, to you, it might at times seem otherwise.

One example of such a scenario would be my first encounter with the team of beings you know as the Avengers, taking place upon their return from the future in an adventure involving my descendant, Kang the Conqueror. Ah, but is he my descendant? I've often posed the question, but never the answer. Such trifles I tempt you with! Such lures! I lay out the pieces of the puzzle for you, yet never enough for you to view the complete picture. Nor shall Doom satisfy your curiosity here. Instead, let us focus on a meeting where the Avengers might well face one of their greatest triumphs, or endure one of their most humbling defeats. A tale appropriately titled:



How curious, you might wonder, that Doom did not first face the original and arguably more powerful team of Avengers which counted among its members Iron Man, Thor, and Giant-Man. I can only respond with indifference, though I cannot help but note that this newer, lesser-known team would undoubtedly have its profile raised by facing a--what is the term?-- "A-list" adversary such as myself. (Also, the happenstance of a battle with another team with four members was not lost on me). From my perspective, this relatively new team of Avengers simply coincided with my plans for the Fantastic Four.



But, how to arrange a pretense to lure the Avengers to my kingdom of Latveria? The answer was to be found with its two members whose roots were in Europe, but whose origins remained a mystery even to them. Holding such a carrot in front of them on a stick would be child's play.



As elated as these Avengers would be upon their arrival, it would almost immediately crumble once I arranged for it to be revealed that they had instead fallen into a carefully laid trap.



Now that the Avengers were on their guard--for all the good it would do them--I knew I had to keep them from escaping the country. And so I employed one of my more remarkable inventions:



I see the insipid expression of skepticism laid out on your faces like a bland table setting at one your dull social soirees: How, you wonder, can this dome of Doom's be constructed on a large enough scale to encompass mountains?? And I respond, rather: How can any of your feeble minds comprehend even this slightest manifestation of Doom's brilliance? You'd best confine yourselves to your sandboxes, and leave more sophisticated matters to those best suited to employ them.

At any rate, with their options limited, the Avengers are bold enough to bring their grievance with Doom to his castle.



And so the battle begins, though this "team" fails to impress as I efficiently move to counter their tactics one by one:





Yet, an oversight on my part provides the one known as Hawkeye with an opening which briefly shifts the advantage back to the Avengers. Though, as you can see, they now have a healthy respect for the formidable nature of their foe.



Soon enough, the time comes for "Round Two," as you would quaintly put it. Though, unknown to Doom at the time, the Avengers are operating under a plan and have split their forces accordingly. While I remain fully confident in my ability to crush these jackals, I must admit that these Avengers are providing more opposition than I had expected.






(Yes, I, too, cannot help wondering if Hawkeye's quiver was packing nothing but blast arrows. Why does this archer simply not trade in his bow for an RPG launcher?)

Eventually, it's only when I have these two upstarts in a position to where I can finally eliminate them that the remaining Avengers, having located my dome control, now make their appearance. Nor does it seem I can treat them so cavalierly this time.




And so we come to an apparent standoff. Yet, in choosing to depart, the Avengers force me to endure a somewhat humiliating measure to aid in their escape:



To the less discerning eye, of course, the Avengers would seem to have proven their mettle in this encounter with the monarch of Latveria, with Doom not only outfought but humbled. Bah! A novice's assessment. At best, the battle resulted in a stalemate, to be resolved another day, another time. The end result simply necessitated minor adjustments in my plans for the Fantastic Four--plans which would come to include the Silver Surfer, in what would prove to be Doom finding himself on the verge of conquering all of humanity. By comparison, pitting all of my resources against these four Avengers would have proven pointless.

There are more satisfying revelations of Doom's prowess in battle, to be sure. Should I once more find myself in a contemplative mood, and I feel disposed to grant an audience, we shall meet again.

The Avengers #25

Script: Stan Lee
Pencils: Don Heck
Inks: Dick Ayers
Letterer: Sam Rosen

4 comments:

  1. Say, Doc, speaking of diabolical schemes worthy of a master-super-villain, you didn't have anything to do with shutting down half the GWB a few months ago, did you?
    Nobody in the N.J. state govt. seems to know how or why it happened, exactly, and it sure looks like the act of a criminal mastermind.
    Maybe it was Lex Luthor.

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  2. Luthor--pfah. Let that bungler putter and stumble with his maladroit schemes as he will--Doom has far weightier matters to be concerned with.

    And my full title, clod, is "Doctor."

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  3. Good grief--sorry about that curt response. Doom hacked right into my account before I even knew it. He is good.

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  4. No apologies necessary, C.F. We all know Doctor Doom as a petty, grudge-holding, nefarious, no-good yaaaahhhh! Where did you guys come fro aauuugh! Take it eas waauuugh!
    Somebody call the American Embassy in Latveria! Call my mother! I'm supposed to be at work tomorrow!


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